Listening to your inner-voice is fundamental
Sometimes doing what seems the “wrong thing to do” is actually the “right thing to do”.
One of the characteristics of midlife transitioning, is that we start getting this strong feeling of no longer accepting “the things that we don’t want to do” or “just because we have to do” or it’s the ‘right’ thing to do”.
As our true inner-self/voice or the “once you” starts to come back, and wants to start playing, having fun and doing the things that it once liked doing.
It is at this point that your “once you” and the “now you” voice conflict. They start fighting over who is more “right” and start pulling eachother in opposite directions…..that’s why you get the “feeling torn” sensation or “don’t know what to do” situation. Therefore, you feel confused, stuck and insecure.
Our “now” self will probably be a mum, wife, daughter, carer and full time worker who has to take care of everything and everyone apart from ourselves.
We convince ourselves as well as being constantly reminded by others that we have to “do the right thing” which is: to be good, be faithful and practically run after everyone 24/7.
That is why; we have to listen to our inner-self/voice and be who we truly are.
An example that happened to me a few days ago was:
Around a month ago I approached a place of work (not to mention the name or genre of work), where everything went well, then I was called back for a second interview or “get to meet the boss” interview which also went well.
At the end of the interview, they both said “welcome to the team, now you can start your training” (which they didn’t mention during the interview).
I thought “training” argh!, with all the qualifications and experience I have, To be quite honest, I was actually over qualified for the job but I just wanted something easy to start off with!
However, since I needed the job because I had until recently not wanted to return to work after Covid and then my illness. I had to start somewhere.
It took five days for the training modules to come through….luckily online and not in the workplace.
Wow, there was so much to read and listen to, plus there was a bloody test at the end of every page!
I spent twelve hours a day for two whole days trying to get through the training material so that I could start working as soon as possible.
I was starting to feel overwhelmed by the amount of modules I had to get through. The worse thing was, I didn’t even like what I was learning.
I started to feel extremely suffocated and panicky.
I also had an inhouse training session scheduled for the day after.
Guess what…….another eleven more training modules arrived!
So, I had a complete melt down!
That aftenoon, I don’t know if someone was looking down on me with pity, but, the inhouse training had luckily been postponed to another day!
For me, it was like a sign from above, saving me from having to go to the company, knowing that I wouldn’t be happy and probably saying “no” to the job at some time in the day.
AND THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I DID!
I was feeling too anxious about having to do something that I just didn’t want to do or liked doing.
The feeling of relief was pure bliss and the heavy suffocating weight, just lifted.
Yes, I was kicking myself because I was throwing away a job opportunity but at this time of life, I am no longer prepared to do what I have to do or do what is best for other people.
Now, you’ll probably saying, “you can’t go around saying “no” to everything you don’t like or don’t feel like doing”.
Well, you’re right! I have to come up with a solution.
And the solution is: I do know what I want to do, and, I’m doing exactly that. Working on my website and connecting with you ladies who are going through the midlife journey too.
I would also like to start a YouTube channel about Italian life, Italian houses, Italian food and living in Italy……can you tell that I live in Italy?
So, if this is what I want to do fulltime, I just have to get of my backside and start doing it properly.
It’s not easy as it has taken me almost two years of just thinking about starting this website and as for the YouTube channel, it’s getting the courage to go infront of the camera.
So, ladies, we should start listening to our inner-selves/voices and do what we want to do regardless of what other people or family members think.
It’s our time and if we don’t change it, we will remain with this heavy sinking feeling of unhappiness and regret.
The only person holding us back is ourselves!
Have a look at Mel Robbin’s YouTube episode; Get out of your own way with one simple tool. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MraNMJA1HHw
She says the same thing!
Love Life!
Love your fifties!
