Why you should try going on a Road Trip
Why I like travelling
As a child, we constantly travelled around the world. My mum was a keen caravaner and my dad was a British soldier who was based in different British military bases around the world.
Even if, at times, I didn’t always enjoy the upheaval of the constant travelling as it was tiring and took me away from my friends, but, I didn’t have any option in the matter. I did enjoy though, learning about different cultures and their foods. The landscapes were totally amazing and diverse. It was interesting as a little girl to see and experience all these different “sides” of the world.
I also enjoyed watching my mum trying to make herself be understood in a foreign language through either mimicking the situation or making her ever so famous animal or miscellaneous noises, trying to back up her mimicking. My father would cringe and pretend that he wasn’t with us….it was so funny and so many precious memories.
Now, that I’m older, I heartbreakingly don’t go anywhere. My husband doesn’t share the same interest and enthusiasm about travelling nor trying other cuisines (it’s hard to beat the Italian one). It becomes more of a stress than a pleasure when a person isn’t open to other cultures or interested in how the world works.
My difficulties
Then, I fell ill with a neurological illness and a little time later, started my disastrous perimenopause journey which simply robbed me of my health, confidence and professional identity (I am a psychologist so I thought that I would be able to cope with accepting my illness. At the beginning, I did but when my body stopped working, I spiralled into depression (which is embarassing to say but I am also human), the doctors said “I’m sorry for you”, other family members didn’t know how to cope which was hurtful.
Luckily my three labradors and daschund helped me get out of bed in the mornings and out of the house, even if it was for their necessities.
I had to give up work due to the pain. I couldn’t handle facing any work routine nor the travelling to work.
I started to isolate myself and staying away from all people. The only time I had to go out was with the dogs.
Four years later, I’m still battling with solitude but at the same time I have this little voice in my head which wants to break free and start seeing the world again and meeting new people. It’s very scary but I think I’m ready.
To do this, I thought of starting off with “road trips”. They can be near to home, I can be independent without relying on or waiting for public transport, to which I don’t really like using. But at the same time, I have a humungous fear of using the motorway. They are fast, rarely controlled by the police and full of trucks which are not considerate when changing lanes….even when they’re not allowed! However, this is another challenge to get over and work on.
Why choose Road Trips
The reason for why I have chosen to start off with road trips is that, it is always better and more realisable when we start off with “small steps”. If the challenge is too big, we will panic and not follow it through.
The “monkey chatter/mind” which is a high-pitched, constant, irritating noise in your head which offers you negative and judgemental comments on everything you do, making you feel guity, hopeless and insecure. When it starts, it says “you don’t want to do that”, “that’s too ambitious for you”, “people like you, don’t do these things”, “you should stay and home and be the mum and wife, that you are”!!
This is the reason why we find it so difficult to start anything off.
On the other side of the spectrum, there is the “monk mind” which is more calm, focused and more pro-active. The “monk mind” however, can be a little bit too calming though, if properly practised which means you may not feel like doing anything adventurous.
At midlife, our inner-self, our need for adventure, our younger-self wants to wonder and discover. The voice and feelings in our heart and stomach say; “I’m bored”, “I want to see new place and meet new people”, “I want to do something nice for me”.
When both voices contrast, we get that “stuck” feeling which makes us irritated, frustrated and let down by ourselves. One voice goes against the other; “you’re weak”, “stay at home”, “I dare you to go!”, “what will people say about you?”.
Unfortunately, the “monkey mind” is stronger and usually wins! However, we can overcome this situation by taking small steps and planning.
Start off your road trip near to home so that you won’t feel overwhelmed in unfamilair places or you lose your sense of direction.
Go on a road trip for a short period of time, say about an hour or two. That way, family members probably won’t even know that you’ve gone.
Plan your road trip. Have a look at the place of interest on the internet. Find out what the place offers in the way of sightseeing ideas, shops, restaurants and so on. If you have planned what you want to do and see, your focus will be on that instead of arriving there and not knowing what to do. This leads you to feeling overwhelmed, insecure and then turning home straight away. Focusing on something will help you bypass your fears or at least reduce them, as you’ll be concentrating on something which should be of interest or pleasure.
Maybe phoning a friend or a family member once you’ve arrived at your destination, will also help. Hearing a friendly voice will settle your heart beat, give you connection (even if it is on the phone) and a sense of reassurance that you have conquered your fear(s)….that’s if you had any.
So as you can see, it’s not easy but it isn’t also impossible. Try planning, take small steps and then just do it and enjoy!
How do road trips benefit us?
Road trips allow us to follow our sense of adventure. Exploring new places, meeting new people and trying out local cuisine or different regional foods is all about discovery, novelty, excitement and curiosity.
Road trips allow us to adventure out at our own pace and space. We can beat the hussle and bussle of every day life and simply enjoy doing what we want, where we want and how we want.
Road trips allow us to take control of ourselves and life. The fact of choosing and then doing something for us is only but a bonus and a personal strength. Having control over what we do, not only satisfies our inner-self, it allows us to grow, learn new things and pass on our experiences to other people. We can also encourage other women who are needing a little help or push into taking control of their lives too.
So, take the plunge (or better the car) and go and find your free spirit. You’ll be pleasantly surprised how road trips can open up a whole new road and direction. It can teach us to self-reflect, build self-confidence, become more curious and give us a hunger for adventure.
Love Life
Love your fifties!